Twelve MMA Halloween Costumes Under Ten Bucks

by Alex Mattis

If you’re anything like me, you’re still clueless as to what you’re going to be this Halloween weekend. If you’re anything like me, you’re also extremely financially irresponsible and don’t have much of a budget for a costume. Well, fear not!

Anyone can put together a decent Halloween outfit simply by digging through their closet and dressers. With a few additional tweaks, a world of MMA-orientated ensembles can be concocted. Here’s a list of economical ideas for this weekend’s parties and events. Hope this helps!

Chuck Liddell:
Most dudes own a pair of hair-trimmers, and if they don’t one of their buddies do. Grab ‘em. Trim your hair into the classic “Chuck-Hawk” (the Chuck-manchu is optional as Chuck himself has mixed it up over the past few years). Black t-shirt, blue jeans, a hatred for Tito Ortiz and you’re ready to hit the town! The trick to being Chuck is to show up wherever you’re going already five-beers-in, to the point of people saying “Man, *that* guy knows how to party.” During the evening, if you happen to compete (Pin the Tail on the Donkey, Beer Pong, etc.) and win be sure to run backwards in a circle striking Chuck’s trademark victory pose. People may be confused but hey, you knocked out Randy Couture twice. They didn’t.

Josh Koscheck:
Bleaching your hair is easy enough. A fitted t-shirt, jeans, and a tacky watch is all that’s left. If you honestly want to be Josh Koscheck for Halloween then you know, wherever you’re going, not that many people are fans of yours. That being said, don’t be afraid to play it up. You’re a winner, dammit! At any point of your evening if you see a dude dressed up as a nurse… You know what to do.

Dana White:
Pick up a bald cap or just fully commit and Bic your head. Find your finest ironic t-shirt and some snazzy blue jeans. Print off Fedor Emelianeko’s MMA record as your “prop” but know that really it’s there incase anyone you come in contact with has the gall to claim Fedor is the best ever. I mean, Hong Man Choi?! Come on, bro. Also, you’ll need to use the “F” word more than any before in your life.

Roy Nelson:
I personally was going to attempt this one, but realized Roy’s current mullet/beard is just too much for me to tackle. To pull off “The Big Country” one must have a body that says “I don’t go outside much.” You’ll need at least a decent beard, and the willingness to cut your hair into some sort of mullet. All that’ll be left is board shorts, a sleeveless black top, and some flip-flops. Just to be safe, carry around a sack a Burger King all night.

Gina Carano:
Ladies, if you’re looking to go as the female face of MMA this year, there are several things you’ll need. Number one: you have to be 100% sure you are going to be, without question, the hottest person at the party/event you are going to. If you’re confident in that then throw on a black tank top, some pink workout shorts, fingerless gloves, and do you’re hair up all cute like.

Jon Fitch:
One can either go with pre-fight Fitch or post-fight Fitch; the only real difference is a full beard or a soul-patch. Either way, a nice button-up shirt with some dark jeans will do the trick. The real key to being Jon Fitch is being designated driver; as to ensure the evening goes the distance.

Clay Guida:
Long hair is a must. A wig won’t quite cut it when it comes to “The Carpenter.” If you’ve got your bases cover, cargo shorts and any tank top will do. To be Clay Guida, you’ve got to be ready to go. You have to make sure that you’re the first one there and the last to leave. When everyone else is winding down, you’re still going strong. Being incredibly optimistic and loved by all is also required.

Brock Lesnar:
For starters, you’re going to need a good ol’ $5 haircut. While you’re out, pick up a Sharpie. Fetch out your best pair of camo pants, as probably no one has had the nerve to tell you they’re riotously out of date, then draw any sort of phallic symbol going down your entire chest. You can call a “sword” if you’d like.

Rampage Jackson:
Head to Wal-Mart and grab an MMA Elite shirt. They’re really cheap. Add baggy jeans then rifle through your garage for any length of chain that would make Quinton proud. Any addition of rings, sunglasses, etc. is encouraged. The objectification of female reporters should be high on your priority list this Halloween.

Chael Sonnen:
You’d be naïve to think there was anyway to replicate Chael Patrick Sonnen.

Lyoto Machida:
This one may require a trip down to the Goodwill. Scope out your local GW for a gi of some sort (they’re much easier to find that you’d think). From there, comb your hair to a dandy little side part and you are ready to go. For full Machida effect: be sure to lunge in-and-out of conversation all night, cut your way around using odd angles that leave other partygoers confused and bewildered. At the end of the night, most of the people you met will think you’re pretty boring. However, a select few will find you to be one of the most fascinating and exciting people they’ve ever seen.

Nick Diaz:
Just no-show all the parties you’re obligated to be at. They’re not worth you’re time anyway.

Have fun and be safe this Halloween weekend!